Wednesday, April 16, 2014

few things

1. I decided to take the past two weeks off WW. I gained 0.4 lbs, which I feel pretty good about. I enjoyed not counting points and paying attention to how I felt; I ate slower and on a few occasions sat with the desire to eat, rather than satiate it. 

2. I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow. So excited. 

I'll have more of a post soon, but work is killing me (in a good way but zomg so tired) so I haven't had the bandwidth to post.

Thursday, April 03, 2014

WWRB Week 3

Starting Weight: 131.8
Ending Weight: 130.2
Weight loss: -1.6

The good: New low weight! New low weight!!!!!!! Lowest weight in 10 years! WHAT WHAT WHAT. What worked this week was envisioning the number I wanted to see; if I wanted chocolate at night, I envisioned that number and opted to go to bed or white-knuckle it through the craving. It wasn't easy but I reminded myself that I only had to pass a few times and not forever. It was a super challenging week with Lucia, learning how to best motivator her, and I realized we're not that different (understatement of the century). If someone tells me I can't do something, I rebel. But set a limit for me and let me figure out how to get there, and boom. That's exactly what happened this week. Ehm, with her and me. :) 

The bad: I didn't get half the amount of exercise I wanted; while I planned for outdoor/walking activities on the weekend, I was single parenting (Pete was away working on a project) and it poured. And Espen got sick. The end. It didn't happen. I also stopped counting points on Tuesday (I think I had a few left?) and ate a handful of almonds.

The plan: I have my number in mind for next week, and have baked black-bean brownies (THESE ARE SO AMAZING WHAT HOW DID I WAIT THIS LONG TO TRY THESE?) so that I can have those instead of the gluteny deliciousness that is Espen's birthday cake this weekend. I'm planning on working in more cardio just for my own sanity. I am ZONKED today, for instance, but going to the gym anyway so that I sleep better tonight. I'm also going to get a massage and soak at the Japanese bath house Sunday morning, and just might leave early so that I can take a long walk through SF like the old days. I'm excited. 

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

WWRB Week 2

Starting Weight: 131.8
Ending Weight: 131.8
Weight loss: -0

The good: I stayed positive and didn't completely go into oh fuck it mode after I went over my points. The GREAT: I went to the gym yesterday. I've been struggling with getting there and yesterday I just decided to figure out the bare minimum I could do, and I went and did it. I had the pom poms from my Lean Eating teammates (we keep in touch via Facebook in a private group), and I did it! My healthy habit I'm adopting for the next two weeks is to take 20 minutes every day for myself -- just for me and it's not allowed to be pushed off to take care of anyone else. I'm using the Lift App to track it. :) I'm also working really hard to corral my stress levels, meaning I'm trying to find outlets and continually say no to things. 

The bad: I went over my points. It was a LOT harder than I remembered to keep it under 7 WAPs per day, I think because I didn't have a plan on place (ahem) which meant having filling foods around the house to grab easily. 

The plan: I realized that in order to stay on plan, I need to plan on well, just eating filling foods all the time, with the understanding that by doing that, I get to have treats when I want them, not when I am out of options and am kinda forced to have them. I'm probably doing too much navel gazing around this, as usual. Go ahead and roll your eyes at me -- I'm doing it too! 


Wednesday, March 19, 2014

WWW Week 1 (Reboot)

Starting Weight: 132
Ending Weight: 131.8
Weight loss: -0.2

The good: I managed to chose Filling Foods for most meals starting Saturday. 

The bad: I went a zillion points over my WAPs, and as previously mentioned, did a lot of stress eating. 

The plan: Moderation: no more than 7 WAPs per day this week to keep me on track and away from disordered eating habits. No cracking out on chocolate-pecan pie, ahem, or potato chips while sitting with simultaneous emotions of being elated to be back at work and so freaking fulfilled and psyched, and knowing that baby had a terrible day missing me at his first day back at daycare after our week-long "vacation" together. Sigh. 

This week I'm not going to focus on a number, or a size or anything else. My goal is moderation. The number doesn't really matter. 

I also think I'm going to let go of the BADASS ALL CAPS BOOYAH workouts. I keep making up my spreadsheets with prescribed dates on when I'm going to do workout A, workout B and realized um, that doesn't really have a lot of flexibility, which I desperately need these days. I went for a walk three days in a row, not to get a firmer ass, but because I really needed to take care of myself and clear my head. THAT feels like a more worthwhile goal in the short term. I've got about two weeks left of pumping at work, so as soon as I'm done with that, I might be able to cobble together a plan to get back to the gym. But I might not. And I might be OK with that. When I start Lean Eating in July I'll be back to the rigor and badassery, but for now I'm just trying to do what I can to reduce my stress levels and put on my oxygen mask first before taking care of others. 

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Skincare and Makeup

It seems like almost overnight since turning 40, I've started to look my age. Gah. Maybe it's breastfeeding and lack of estrogen associated with that, but my skin is so insanely dry. In November I bought Clinique's Youth Surge (separate night and day creams) in the extra dry formula and really liked it. But I had previously tried Rodan + Fields, as my friend sells it, and loved how it improved my skin tone and texture. So I went back to it, only to find it was so drying compared to the Clinique. Back it went, sadly. I sniffed around and found Paula's Choice, a skincare site where she reviews skin care lines and gives actual helpful advice, as opposed to someone just shilling for the company they got the free stuff from (have you ever seen those horrid "Mommy review" youtube videos where they "review" the stroller, etc. that they got -- insert eyeroll. Shockingly, ever review is stellar). Anyway, the site is really helpful. Based on their recommendation, I got the AHA+ cream from; it's alpha hydrox plus glycolic acid. I really like it and it's safe for breastfeeding. It was sting-ey at first, so I mixed it with the DD+ lotion for a while until my skin got used to it. Now I just use that as a layer under my Youth Surge.

My eyes are showing my age the most, so I've had to experiment with various eye creams. I'm OK with showing lines, but the crepey skin/looking exhausted all the time is uh, not my fave look. I was using All About Eyes Rich for a loooong time, but I ran out and my mascara was running all the livelong day, so I decided to get the All About Eyes depuffer, and use the repairwear eye cream at night (I had a sample, so that was easy). The depuffer is amazeballs. I keep it in the fridge and use it while I'm waiting for my Keurig to warm up every morning. The repairwear is nice, but I'm honestly not seeing a huge difference. I'm going to look into a more moisturizing eye cream to wear at night, and maybe I'll wear the repairwear during the day.

Ok, onto makeup. People, get over to immediately. Watching her makeup videos has really changed the way I apply makeup. She did a whole series on where/how to highlight/contour (HAC) your face based on its shape (I'm a diamond). I don't use her products for the highlighting and contouring (HACing): I use Bobbi Brown bronzer and Becca Shimmering Pearl, but I did take her recommendation of buying the NYX Taupe pencil for contouring my nose, and it is indeed really great and the perfect shade. Plus, $4 from Amazon? Ok then. I'm finding that even if I just do the HACing with mascara and blush, along of course with my Bobbi Brown concealer routine, I don't look all made up but just look like a refreshed, well-rested (hahahahah) version of myself. Word. 

Saturday, March 15, 2014

WW and SS

Horrendous week. I've eaten all my extra points and am sadly (?) just eating only Filling Foods for the next three days. Starting Wednesday, I'm going to do what they do with the Simple Start, which is you can't have more than 7 WAPs in one day. Yesterday I think I hit a personal record of something like 32. Blueberry muffin, four pieces of GF pizza, wine, etc. The stress of the week just all hit me yesterday and I just wanted to check out and not be here. Ugh.

I'll update you Wednesday with the weight and stuff.

Friday, March 07, 2014

This and That

After a few weeks (cough cough MONTH) of taking some time off WW, I decided I need to reboot. I'm going to try to stick to the plan this whole week and see what happens. I've been traveling and eating out/enjoying life with friends (read: wine and desserts). I feel bloated and gross and want to get back to feeling good. 

Also, I had a little pep talk with myself today (Pete helped too) about going back to the gym. The challenge is 1. I am at beginner level and just need to get back into a routine 2. I have had trouble getting past my black and white thinking about it; if I can't go whole-hog, balls out and KICK. ASS. on a workout, then I don't want to bother. Blerg. 

So today I packed my gym bag and told myself I was just going to start. Stop agonizing over it and thinking about it, just start. So there's that. 

Unrelated (maybe?), I have had an *enormous* struggle adjusting to my new role as super PR chickadee and juggling it with my being a super mom and wife. Super, of course to me, means impossibly high standards that I really need to start letting go of. For instance, I'm standing in line to go through security before my flight out of Toronto and I can't make a decision about what to do with the 40-50 oz of breastmilk I have dutifully pumped and frozen during my 3-day trip. Should I check it? It's in a cooler bag that is super insulated? Or should I haul it in my carry on? Should I risk checking it? Just so I don't have to haul it? Is that OK to ask for that? 

Why is this such a struggle and why I cannot see the forest for the trees is beyond me. It's frustrating -- I'm annoying myself with this myopic perspective of ONE WAY to be supermom (even if that was attainable). How about supermom = pumping 5x a day for my kid? Or supermom is going to kick ass at her job to 1. provide for my family and 2. show my kid that I'm fulfilled and 3. show my kid that mommies kick ass. How about that? Why isn't that a good enough definition. 

My new job is AMAZING. That bears repeating. I am so freaking thrilled to be here. I just have got to get out of my own way and my own head.  My job is to kick ass at work. Period. The other stuff I'll have to let go of. Sigh.