Wednesday, July 15, 2015

The Self-Prescription List

I woke up in a funk. Unreasonable expectations for myself and tons of negative self-talk. Moving is hell, I had forgotten. It takes a while to develop new routines. Not to mention the stress of trying to find one thing and then having to make 10 decisions about the things you find in search of the one thing. Ugh. 

To add to the mix, just before the move I developed De Quervain's tendonitis which impacts my wrist and thumb, naturally in my dominant hand. So I can't go lift heavy things to work shiz out, as I normally do in the gym. It also means I can't go turbo through the new house getting shiz done. I have to rest my freaking wrist/thumb or it won't get better, the doc said yesterday. Plain and simple. Unfortunately.

I've also decided, because I am unreasonable (see above), that I would start a Whole30 because stress eating pirate's booty and GF pizza has me feeling uh, fluffy? And down. 

Thus the grumps this morning. I realized I needed a prescription to write for myself. What are the things I would tell a friend who is in this position?

1. Keep up with the training runs (duh). No brainer and easy with the arm. 
2. Figure out a 30 min. bodyweight workout I can do at home with my headphones on or in the damn driveway until I can lift heavy again. 
3. Eat clean *most* of the time. This weekend is Pete's birthday and I have a surprise dinner planned for him, which I would really like to enjoy with him too.
4. Exercise COMPASSION. 

Onward, you guys. 

Wednesday, July 08, 2015

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Givers and Takers

Something pretty profound shifted in me when Espen got so sick in February. The trauma of the events that unfolded in the PICU shook me to my core. I have never associated with combat veterans, but after we were discharged, I got a glimpse into that world of trauma and the feeling to go back because it was comfortable. I can't remember why, but at one point after he was discharged, I was near the hospital and felt the need to walk in and seek some of the docs and nurses that had treated him, perhaps in the hallways. It was bizarre. 

During the more acute times, I found myself categorizing people as givers or takers, and basically refusing to serve takers. What I mean by that is there are people in my life, who take more than they give. All relationships are give and take, but these particular set more often take. In the past I was willing to play the role of the "good friend," being there for them to the nth degree. When he got sick and I was in crisis mode, I stopped responding to them. And even now, when Espen is healthy and I'm feeling 90% normal, I've continue to stop responding to them. I've noticed the dynamics of our relationship and just decided to opt out. To let them figure it out or seek someone else to rescue them. 

It's been liberating. I feel like the bandwidth previously eaten up by solving everyone else's crises is now spent on giving back to the friends that give more than they take, and for managing my own health. Good stuff, you guys. 

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Still Over On FB

I'm still posting super thrilling updates over on my FB page, where I was delighted (insert sarcasm) to recently learn a frenemy is an avid reader. HEY THERE!!!!

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Week 2 Update

I'll keep this short, but Week 2 was pretty great in the workouts. It was my first week of getting up at 5 and into the gym by 6-6:15 without caffeine, and I'm thrilled to say it wasn't hard for most of the week. I upped my weights all week, which I'm super proud of. Badassery.

Diet and eating however, didn't go as great. I slipped a bit in the sugar department and ate past the point of satisfaction, trending more towards full too many times. Stopping when I'm 80% full continues to be so so difficult, and truly where I need to do my most work. I was joking with a friend that they say abs are made in the kitchen, for me abs are made right there in that 20%.

As I result, my weight ticked up a bit this week. Moving on, let's go get Week 3.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Week 1 Update

Week 1 of the Jamie Eason Live Fit Trainer was pretty awesome. Bodyspace has an app so you just open it and follow the workout along that way, and log in how much you lifted as you go. As a complete nerd who used to relish in creating workout spreadsheets and filling them out, this has been a change, but it's really awesome! I got a summary yesterday that told me how much I lifted and not surprisingly, my strongest muscles are my biceps (thanks Espen). This program feels really, really doable. I'm super excited. I got some BCAAs to drink post-workout and am incorporating those to help with soreness. I was able to go pretty hard today, despite dodging a virus from the kids. 

For WW, man I knocked it out of the park. I focused on detoxing from vacation, so it wasn't hard to stay on track or anything. I also implemented a rule of closing the kitchen after dinner, so no snacks after dinner at all. No nibbles while I make the kids' lunches. Nada. The result:

Goals for this week: 
Continue closed kitchen after dinner rule.
 Train hard, don't go over my WW points unless it's food that's really worth it or contributes to my health (guacamole, I'm lookin at you). 

Oh and one thing I didn't mention: I quit coffee. I KNOW. I was drinking somewhere around 5-6 cups a day and realized that in order to reduce my anxiety in a holistic sense, it would probably help if I didn't feel like I was on speed for the majority of the day. Also, I'm trying to get to a place where I listen to my body more, so I felt like caffeine was masking exhaustion and other stuff. So far it's been really easy to go cold turkey, and I feel so much calmer and sane. Thumbs up to that. 

Saturday, April 11, 2015

One Two Oh

You guys. I am starting anew for realsies on Monday. Jamie Eason's 12-week Live Fit Trainer and WW. My goal is to get to 120. I felt like the weekly check ins really helped my accountability when I was losing the baby weight, so I'm starting those again. I weigh in on Saturdays so I'll post then and maybe periodically otherwise. 

I'm going to follow the Training program to the T, and use the eating programs as a guide. I'm going to aim for using my points on things like guacamole instead of sugary stuff. I think I'm going to cut out sugar this week as vacation detox. I had a glazed donut this morning. A GLAZED DONUT. To be clear, it was delish. But come on. 

My downfall continues to be emotional eating. But it's always the same foods, so I'm going to aim to not keep those in the house. 

I'll post a pic of me in my bikini tomorrow (!) and my weight and measurements. Here we go!!