Tuesday, June 17, 2014

FB Page

Friends, I'm migrating sorta over to a FB page. Come on over! 

Monday, June 16, 2014

Oh Hey.

Dudes, my life has been bananas lately. My job is craaaazy, for a lot of different reasons. Tons of responsibility, somewhat unreasonable expectations and just the inherent stress that comes with acclimating to a new team, new ways of doing things, etc. It took a few months to get my footing, but I feel like I'm finally rockin it. Phew and hooray.

But a few things resulted while I was in that awkward figuring it out phase; some of them surprising, some of them not: 
  1. Because I was on unfamiliar terrain at work and um, terrified, I decided I was going to valedictorian the crap out of supermomming and everything had to be perfect at all times and WHY ARE YOU DOING IT THAT WAY PETE, WHICH IS CLEARLY WRONG WTF. Suffice it to say it got a little tense around our house. 
  2. I was pretty much an anxious mess all the time and felt like I had to be ON ON ON ON ON and working from 8-11 everynight. Insert exhaustion and feeling like I'm running in place, i.e. tons of effort and not a lot to show for it. Which brings me to... 
  3. I was having wine or chocolate pretty much every night. Mostly, I will admit, because of #1 and my unwillingness to budge even a little and after the kids went to bed I was so wound up I needed something to soothe me. Sigh. 
However. Once I realized these things and let go and stood back and let Pete step in, a little magic happened. I started to loosen up a bit and not have that scrunched up stress face thing going on 24/7. 

[The kids are also crazy. Espen is reaching the almost walking screechy phase, so that's fun. Lucia continues to be so challenging (sassing, combative about everything, etc.). It's a LOT. But letting Pete do more and getting out of his way has really helped with that too.]

To that end, some exciting (ha!) updates over here pertaining to fitness/health/wellness, in no particular order:
  • I am VERY behind on my LE workouts. I am starting over this week, which is hilarious because I forgot my gym bag today. I was all IMMA KILL IT TODAY, then realized my bag is at home. Dammit. I'm going to do a bodyweight workout instead tonight -- also serves as a release valve from the craziness of getting the kids to bed. 
  • However, this means I'm "behind schedule" on my LE Phase 1 and I'm trying to care, but also trying to be flexible and to remind myself that I made the rules around this LE redo, so I can certainly change the rules. 
  • I cancelled my WW account today. I haven't been following it lately, mostly because as I believe I mentioned, when I follow it to the T, I do not have enough energy for the LE workouts, which are way more important for my health and longevity than a number on the scale. The weeks that I followed WW and did the workouts I fell asleep sitting up in the middle of the day. Sure I could increase my brown rice servings or oatmeal, but as I've documented here ad nauseum, I feel better when I eat less carbs. So I don't really want to increase them to boost my calories; I'd rather work in some peanut butter and avocado, dudes. Because... 
  • The eating until you're 80% full rule is SO HARD. Try it! It's very, very hard. I started last week and have had a very difficult time doing it. It's mental jiujitsu, for sure. 
  • I'm off sugar and alcohol for the week. I am looking HAGGARD, you guys. OLD LADY haggard, and know that means I need to reduce my stress levels, clean up my diet and get more rest. So...
  • I'm going to bed early every night this week. Early = 10. Espen is off the nightcap nursies (yes!) so I can technically go to bed when the kids go to bed. The fact is, in terms of what benefits me and gives back, sleep investment is way better than jacking around on Facebook. 
Hi, I've aged 5 years since starting this job.
Have also started the unfortunate habit of nervously
twirling of my hair. Gah.

Sunday, June 01, 2014

LE Week 3 Update

Much better week over here. I bumped up my calories quite a bit and basically abandoned counting WW points. I aimed for more vegetables, less crap, more protein. I lost almost 2 lbs. I worked out Monday and Wednesday with heavy weights, but aimed to get in more activity on the other days. Yesterday I had a scoop of coffee cookie dream (cookie dough and oreo in coffee ice cream) and it was so worth the saying no the other days. So worth it. I ate slow this week and it did in fact make me feel a bit calmer around food and more satiated. Awesome.

Starting weight: 130.8
Ending weight: 129
Difference: -1.8

I'm going out of town on Wednesday until possibly as late as Monday, so yipes. I'm just going to do the best I can. 

Monday, May 26, 2014

LE Week 2 Update

Meh. Not my best week of eating/weight. I got all pumped (crazy) and decided to cut my carbs a bit, which meant by Tuesday I had zero energy to fuel my workouts. Which, I also decided to increase my weight as much as felt comfortable. I don't have many regrets at all with LE but if I did, it would be lifting heavier sooner. To stop being afraid of the big weights and work within my rep range towards the end of what's comfortable. SO ANYWAY. I didn't end up using all my WW WAPs but I ate more of them towards the end of the week, which I guess was the reason my weight was up. Bleh. 

Starting weight: 129.6
Ending weight: 130.8
Difference: +1.2

But! I bought my first pair of white jeans ever on Saturday in a size 4! Which was pretty exciting. It's very weird to me that I'm at a very low weight and in a size 4 pants but 32% body fat. Blahhhhh. It goes to show you (me) that the number on the scale doesn't mean everything. 

This week's habit is to eat slowly, and it already has me twitchy. Onward, though! 

Monday, May 19, 2014


I actually missed posting my weight the other day, so here it is. I had a really good week, despite eating cheesecake (YEP) and salted caramel gelato. I don't think I went over my points.

Starting weight: 131.4
Ending weight: 129.6
Loss: 1.8 lbs

I'm cutting out sugar for the week anyway, because I did some research over the weekend and realized that sugar in general and excess fruit are not helping my body composition at all. So for this week I'm going to try that to see how I feel. Hopefully less puffy, and god knows I could use all the help I could to look younger. Seems like hitting 40 aged me in like 5 years overnight. WTH.

ALSO. I was really hard on myself (SHOCKER) after taking my measurements, (incorrectly) thinking that my waist had increased three inches despite losing 12 lbs and WTH dude. BUT! It's actually three inches and FIVE pounds from my best ever measurements/weight on Lean Eating, meaning I'm 5 lbs lighter than then. Realizing that made me feel better. Still, I'm looking forward to having my proportions be back to uh, normal. In high school my measurements were 36-26-36. They're a bit off from there, and yes I've had two kids who I am so thankful for, but I keep thinking of those measurements as somewhere to aim.

Saturday, May 17, 2014

LE Week 1 Update

My first week of Lean Eating went really well. I had forgotten how much it gets my head in the game and helps cut out a lot of the distracting noise (read: anxiety). By focusing on just doing what's on deck for the day, it empowers me to not spin off into the land of DAMMIT HL, YOU'RE NEVER EATING SUGAR AGAIN OK? Sigh. 

For instance, I bought a new bikini. Yep, I said bikini. I wanted to try one of those with a high waist. It arrived last night. It wasn't a total nightmare, but man, seeing my thighs up close, hey. My waist is much wider than I imagine it to be. This morning I was feeling bad about it, but then I took my first set of measurements and compared it to my best-ever LE measurements from 2012, and I'm not that far off from my best ever. It's true I keep most of my weight in my thighs and belly; but I know the belly is because I'm not getting enough sleep. My waist is 3 inches bigger than then, and my thighs are 1 inch bigger, even despite being 12 lbs lighter than when I started LE in 2012. So weird, but it shows you that weight isn't everything. I'd much rather be the shape and have the muscle I did back then instead of weighing what I do now. 

With that, I won't be posting my weekly weights here, just my monthly updates and measurements (with weight). My overall goal is 1 lb per week, just like always. My goal weight is 120. 

I also remembered and reframed: there's not much I can do about the state of my body with my thoughts; meaning the spiral of despair isn't particularly useful here. What IS useful is focusing on what's next: taking my fish oil and vitamin today, reading my assignment and taking a nap and trying to get over hand-foot and mouth disease, which plagued us this week and I unfortunately got. :( [I got in 4 workouts this week prior to getting sick though. WOO!]

So. Today. Fish oil. Vitamin. Nap so that I can go for a walk tomorrow. Onward.

Friday, May 09, 2014

Lean Eating At Home Version

Although I'm on the waitlist for the next round of Lean Eating, after reviewing our finances, and some other factors, I decided I'm going to start a round of Lean Eating myself. I have all the workouts, habits and lessons. I have a free gym at the office to use. All I need is some accountability. Here's my plan:

  1. Make a google calendar of the habits and workouts so I know exactly where I'm supposed to be when.
  2. Input three things into the app Lift (not Lyft!), which gets you a green check mark for every day you complete them. I'll create three habits: 1. Read my assignment 2. Did my workout 3. Practiced my habit. I'll get my checkmarks every day. Remember, I was 80% compliant for the *entire year* of Lean Eating, and that includes 4 months of being pregnant. Yowza. Those green check marks really motivate me. 
  3. Take pictures and measurements every 4 weeks (gulp) and change my WW weigh in day to Saturday so I'm tracking that day too. 
I'm going to keep doing WW because it's so dang awesome and it's only $20 a month. I'm super excited about this next phase; I've been floundering with the New Rules of Lifting workouts. The Lean Eating workouts excited me and most importantly, I saw results. I ordered a new bathing suit today and it should be here in 5-7 business days, so I hope to have a good solid week under my belt by then. 

You know I loves me some plans, so I'm super excited. Although my weight itself is pretty low, I've never felt squishier or mushier. Blech. Onward!